Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize