you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
