I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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