CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
