this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
