Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
