Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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