I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
