if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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