watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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