we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My pussy is not your playground.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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