They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Text me some of your sweat
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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