Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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