Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
