I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
