I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
