well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
