Porn is love you can see.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize