and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
