dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's the barista slut.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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