I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
