if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
