____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
