I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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