I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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