I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He kissed a someone with a penis
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
