I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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