Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
