Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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