Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my shit smells like andre
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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