why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're a waste of cheezeits
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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