Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
