we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
