i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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