went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize