i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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