I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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