Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
