someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
