so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
