"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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