Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
MIDGETS
????
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
