I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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