i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
