two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
