That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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