Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize