well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
