hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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