the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
