last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
