Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
