perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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