he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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