Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
