I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
