dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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