actually, I'm a sock model
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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