I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
