I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
