it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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