Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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