I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
