I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Everything about him screamed your future.
my being single is dangerous.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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