Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
